Sample a chorus, bass line, synth riff, or some other hook from a
famous chart-topper from the 70's or 80's (preferably one the kids
have never heard before, "Hey Mom, how do you know this Jay Z
song on the radio?")

Throw together a half-page of incoherent grammatically-incorrect babble.

Get Kenya West, Puff Daddy P. Diddy, Vanilla Ice, or some other no-talent assclown
to yell over the backing track.

Rent a Bentley, print up Monopoly money, and hire a bunch of baby-got-back
tramps to prance behind bling'n assclown.

Or make a movie and record the title track yourself.

Cry and moan on tv (in front of talented musicians) until you win a Grammy.

Collect dat cabbage until you declare bankruptcy. It's Hammer Time!